12 September 2010

The bottomline is, I don't know how to write.

Since that time in my life, I have learned not to write too much. I have learned that words are too powerful to be thrown out, randomly, to people you do not know. Especially words that define you, words that come from the soul.

Trust is now a bleak word in my ever-growing vocabulary of mixed-up words from Spanish, French, Filipino, and English. I lost the ability to write in plain sight. I decided to obscure the meaning, the true point of what I'm trying to say. The plaintext is hidden in the deep dark alleys of my mind.

Of course. It's because by now, I realized that it only through my thoughts that I can be sure that everything will be safe, that what was supposed to be a secret remains a secret. It is only in the mind that I can be sure. It is only in my mind that I can be safe. Sure and safe. Two words, a lot of consequences. It is the prerequisite to friendship, to love, to peace. It is everything positive.

I don't know how to write. Since that time in my life, I am now the cryptic connoisseur, the master of metaphors. I write what I feel in cipher, and hide the plaintext deep within. But somehow, somewhere, somebody will find the key. Someone will finally decipher the message and know who I really am.

Someone, somewhere.

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